Friday 25 February 2011

Differences between Dating and Courtship...............................

What is the difference between dating and courtship? That has to be known before a real discussion of either can take place.
Many men and women date. Going to the movies, ice skating, on a picnic, or countless other adventures can and are undertaken in the name of dating. One afternoon a young man might take a girl out to the movies and the next night, he takes a different girl skating. This is clearly dating. He may not have any plans whatever to get married. At least not for some time to come. These days some young people call it 'hanging out' because it's all in fun. To have a good time is the sole purpose of this kind of dating.
Courtship is another matter. It may still be called dating as it involves going on dates. To the theater, a dance, the movies or numerous other activities. The big difference is it is with the intention of finding someone to marry. The young man and or the young woman has clearly in mind that finding a mate is more important than where they go to be together.
Courtship is different in another aspect. The young couple date only one another. Until they have decided whether their companion is the one they have been seeking, they date exclusively. The purpose of dating in this instance is to get to know the other person well enough to make an intelligent decision. Of course, sometimes it isn't intelligence, but hormones and the 'head over heels' in love feeling that comes as one finds their 'soul-mate'.
Some of the dates that courting involves are time spent with the prospective in-laws. It's important for the young man to get to know the woman who is the mother of the girl with whom he is falling in love. And her father will want to give him the once-over more than once.
The young lady will be given scrutiny by her prospective mother-in-law. Time will be spent finding out just how much or how little the mother likes the idea of her son getting married. These dates may not be pleasant, but they are certainly necessary in the courtship ritual.
At other times, the couple will go on a date for the purpose of discussing how they feel about important things that will come up in married life. One of these is children; do they want them, and how many they expect to have. Where will they live and whether the wife will continue to work are others.
These subjects do not usually come up when a couple is just dating for the fun of having fun with a member of the opposite sex. If they do, the dating just might turn into courtship and the current date then becomes the only companion until such time as both are sure of their choice. If each makes the other happy during courtship, then a happy marriage may be the future reality. If the courtship doesn't go as planned, the parties may be forced to return to just dating and including other people as dates.
With these things in mind then, each single individual may decide dating for them is better than courtship. Or it may be that courtship is what they seek.

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